Laurie Hopkins

February 25 2024

And Then There was Light

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness.

Genesis 1:1-4

And Then There was Light

Sitting at the kitchen table, tea nearby,
focused on the task at hand,
I find myself leaning forward.
Cat-like, I unconsciously seek out the
sunlight, streaming in the front door.

I pause, sip and close my eyes
allowing the warmth to wash over,
soak in
and slowly seep into the darkest crevices
of my weary soul.

I imagine my appearance –
a cross between
the flowering cactus in the window
which only buds on the “sun” side,
and my cat who does not just sit in the rays
but lifts his head, throws forward his little gray face, closes his eyes and smiles,
as the light casts a rather angelic glow all around him.

In the beginning,
upon the face of the deep-
dark, without form, and void,
the Spirit hovered- rāḥap̄-
soft, relaxed, brooding, fluttering, moving, shaking-
the introduction to a new story.

The Creative’s Voice
A spoken word, bringing forth life –
poetry in motion.
“Let there be light”;
and then there was light.
And it was good.

The separation was made.
Light and darkness divided.
The light penetrates in such a way,
that even in the space named for the darkness
the Creative allows,
in the firmament of the heavens,
a light to rule the night.

What does it matter?
Why ponder the beginning, the light and the darkness
and the why of a cat and a flowering cactus
leaning into the rays of the sun?
The task at hand is waiting, impatiently,
and the tea grows cold-
and still –
I pause.

Let there be light.
Throw open the door and allow the sun to stream in.
And then there was light.
I have not made time for it, but my body knows to pull towards its warmth.
And it was good.
I pause.
The separation was made.
The light penetrates the weariness within, distinguishing itself from the darkness.
Light and darkness divided.
Although the space of darkness receives a name, it understands that in the firmament of the heavens, it will always be ruled by a light.
And so, it moves aside.
It must.

The Creative’s Voice brushes past, in this moment
offering me a spoken word, bringing forth life –
poetry in motion.
“I am the light of the world.
He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness,
but have the light of life.”

In the darkest crevices of my weary soul,
upon the face of the deep –
dark, without form, and void,
the Spirit hovers- rāḥap̄-
soft, relaxed, brooding, fluttering, moving, shaking-
introducing my new story.
And then there was light.

Category: New Beginnings | 1 Comment

December 29 2023

A Cup of Tea, A Pen and Some Paper

A Cup of Tea, A Pen and Some Paper

Another day, another week, another year –

how the time adds up, moves quickly and passes;

and yet, moves in slow motion.

Here we are again, just ahead,

another December 31^st to reflect on and

another January 1^st to look ahead from –

activities generally looked upon with great anticipation.

Yet, in this moment, I find myself,

a bit weary of reflecting

and unsure of looking ahead.

Here I sit, post Christmas lights and gifts and food

quiet

settled

a to-do list to my left

untouched for days

a hot cup of tea

a pen and paper.

How to explain

A year of waiting –

waiting to hear, waiting to know, waiting to understand, waiting for improvement, waiting for recovery, waiting for life to resume – to return to normal or a new normal or some sort of balance-

waiting on the Lord.

A year of watching-

watching for results, watching for appointments and surgery, watching beside the hospital bed, watching beside the bed at home-

watching the Lord at work.

A year of stillness and silence –

piece by piece the activities of life shut down

until all is silent-

new activity replaces-

but it is still and silent as well.

Then the withdrawal – the stillness, the silence

the pressure to fill them-

activity, doing, planning, organizing

when physically impossible or unnecessary,

the mind takes over –

filling the gap-

satisfying the craving to produce-

fortifying the lie that tells us

we must

move, do, plan, organize, produce

to exist, be seen, be heard, be loved

by others, ourselves and by God Himself.

In time,

the mind follows the physical body

in the waiting, watching, stillness and silence.

It feels less jittery, jumpy and unsettled

It sits in front of the Christmas tree and watches the lights.

It lingers over a hot cup of something, doodles on a blank piece of paper,

strings a few words together-

trying to explain its current position.

It walks in the woods and chooses to look and see, to hear and smell and feel,

rather than composing lists of things to accomplish.

It prepares food – intentionally – eats slowly and discovers

what it does and does not like.

It closes its eyes at night and chooses

to leave it all in God’s Hands.

It wakes up in the morning and lingers for a few moments-

asking God – what shall we do today?

It stops scrolling endlessly and aimlessly,

leaves the phone in another room

doesn’t listen for the ring or the buzzing and dinging,

and doesn’t worry about missing out.

It gives the physical body permission to

wait and watch –

sits in the stillness and silence-

in peace.

As the body and mind come into synch

the spirit quickens.

The waiting, watching, stillness and silence

open up new possibilities

to be in His presence-

to hear Him speak –

in the softest whisper-

to feel the lightest touch –

to see Him in the smallest details.

To know the joy of this moment –

Because He is

right here –

right now.

Another day, another week, another year –

how the time adds up, moves quickly and passes;

and yet, moves in slow motion.

Here we are again, just ahead,

another December 31^st to reflect on and

another January 1^st to look ahead from –

activities generally looked upon with great anticipation.

Yet,

in this moment,

this year,

this season….

waiting and watching

in the stillness and silence,

I choose to sit, post Christmas lights and gifts and food

quiet

settled

a to-do list to my left

untouched for days

a hot cup of tea

and pen and paper-

doodling and stringing a few words together,

to share (rather than explain) our current

position.

And He is here with me

His presence evident

in the present moment.

I trust He will lead us in reflection in the coming days

I trust He will show us the path forward for the coming year-

in big picture or in day-to-day snippets.

I need not

do, move, produce.

I can be-

just who I am,

who I was created to be,

here, in this very moment.

In this moment-

I exist-

I am seen, heard and loved.

And that is enough –

more than enough.

I set my pen down and head to the kitchen

for some hot tea-

the lights in my window

catch my eye –

I smile.

Category: Life, Moments, Nature, New Beginnings | 10 Comments

August 23 2023

What I Didn’t Know About Surrender

“Nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” Matthew 26:39

It is late in the evening, as I sit here and write. The days are noticeably shorter, so it is already very dark outside on this evening in August. I don’t know about you, but I find that although the days move slowly, they accumulate quickly, therefore time moves slowly but passes quickly all at the same time. I don’t know that this statement even makes sense, but it is my current experience.

I was able to slip away to the beach for a few hours a week or so ago. It was there, as I sat on the sand and listened to the waves, that the Lord spoke to me about surrender. He has been speaking to me for quite some time, in bits and pieces. Reminding me He has a plan for me – inviting me to come to Him and rest – asking me if I am tired, yet, of always trying to be in control. Helping me to understand, day by day, a little at a time, what surrender really looks like in my everyday life. But this day, on the beach, He summed it up for me.

I was so deep in thought, listening so carefully to what God was placing in my heart, that the older gentleman who was walking on the beach, shifted the trajectory of his walk in my direction, to pause right in front of me. I looked up at him and he smiled kindly and asked me, in French, if I was meditating. Although I caught it, even in another language, he repeated it slowly in English for me. He didn’t wait for my answer- he just swept his hand out toward the ocean in a large arc, and said – “This, this is good for the soul – good for the spirit”. With one more smile, he nodded his head and continued on his journey.

As he went on his way, I looked out at the ocean and heard God say, “Tell me what you didn’t know about surrender.”

I smiled. That was clever. He didn’t ask what I knew or thought I knew – He asked me what I now know that I didn’t know before. It’s a nice way of telling me I didn’t know all that I thought I knew. Also, a reminder that He has led me through a path in the last weeks, that has allowed me to learn what I needed to learn to respond in surrender.

How do you understand surrender? What comes to your mind? How does the thought of it make you feel? Honestly.

I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I saw surrender as being beaten down, defeated, not able to win, and so standing up (hesitantly and fearfully, with great regret) and waving a little white flag that signalled that I was done, giving up, and ready to submit to a life of hard labour for the other; an “other” who did not have a good plan for me.

Sounds like something from a movie, doesn’t it?

And perhaps, that is the way of surrender in the movies. Or maybe even life in this world.

But, as Christians, although we are in the world, we are not of the world. Therefore, how we understand things must be based on the truth God shows us, rather than what we see around us. Often that truth looks a bit “upside down”.

I am continuously amazed at the patience God has in showing me His truth, day after day. Helping me to see the world, myself and Him, through His eyes; changing my perspective, that lens I have developed over the years through which I see and understand things.

And I never know exactly how He is going to change that perspective. So, as I sat on the beach, I began listing the things I hadn’t understood about surrender:

Surrender is active, not passive – it requires intentionality- you must choose to surrender, it doesn’t just happen to you
Surrender takes strength- it is not weakness
Surrender takes courage – it is not for the faint of heart
Surrender brings relief not regret
Surrender helps you to feel more in control not less – more in control of the parts of your life you are actually in control of (like choosing to surrender)
Surrender causes things to happen – it does not hinder things from happening or cause them to stall
Surrender is more than acknowledging you are not in control – it is two-prong * choosing to let go of the control & *choosing to trust that He has a good plan for me
Surrender does not lead to captivity- but to freedom
2 Corinthians 3:17 “Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty {freedom}.”
Surrender does not lead to fearfulness or uncertainty -but to peace
John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
Surrender does not lead to labour for an “other” – but to rest in Him
Matthew 11:28 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
Surrender is not a one-time thing- it is a daily choice
Surrender is hard – it can be easy
Surrender is easy – it can be hard

He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” Matthew 26:39

Again, a second time, He went away and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, Your will be done.” Matthew 26:42

God showed me an interesting thing. When Jesus was praying in the garden of Gethsemane, He asked God if this “cup” could pass from Him- nevertheless, He surrendered to God’s plan. That was in verse 39. Then, a few verses later, after His disciples fell asleep on Him when they were supposed to be praying with Him, in verse 42, He prayed a second time, “if this cup cannot pass away from Me……” – almost like He was asking again.

There will be times, when you surrender, then ask again, “God does it have to be this way?” That is OK. God knows us, what we are made of, and how many times we will ask for things to be different, before we surrender and after we surrender and before we choose to surrender daily. He is a gracious and loving Father.

Has God been talking to you about surrender?

Where are you at with that?

Is He still reminding you that He has a plan for you? Inviting you to come to Him and rest? Asking you if you are tired, yet, of always trying to be in control. Is he still helping you to understand, day by day, a little at a time, what surrender really looks like in your everyday life. Or is He sitting with you at the beach, summing it up for you and asking you, “Tell me what you didn’t know about surrender?”

Wherever you find yourself on this journey – know that He is faithful, He sees you just as you are, He knows exactly what He has for you and He LOVES you so very much.

Life doesn’t always look the way we thought it would and we often are pretty sure we could come up with a better plan given half the chance.

However, in the midst of all that, I am choosing, today, tomorrow, and the next day to not only acknowledge that I am not in control and to give up my need to feel as if I am in control, but to also trust that God has a good plan for me.

Today I say: “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” – AND “O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, Your will be done.”

What will you choose to do?

Category: Life, Moments, Nature | 3 Comments